A little knowledge...

"We're all on the spectrum somewhere, aren't we?" I hear this phrase a lot from people who are well meaning, well-read and reasonably aware of Autism.  I used to accept it without question but, over time, my annoyance at the phrase grew until it was more likely to be met with angry disagreement.  People might as well have been saying: "Well it's nothing really, is it?"  or "It's no different to anything the rest of us have to put up with is it?" I have recently passed beyond this phase and now bask in the zen-like calm of someone truly at ease with the ignorance of others.  Too blunt?  Too judgemental?  Quite possibly. Let me explain:

It is widely understood that the Electromagnetic Spectrum comprises radiation of different wavelengths and frequencies.  They all have different characteristics, but they are all still radiation.  Most of us have heard of some of them:  Radio, Microwave, Infrared, Ultraviolet, X-Ray and Gamma Ray.  They are all invisible, but there is a small section in the middle of the Spectrum that is visible to the human eye.  The colours that make up this visible 'white' light are visible when white light is 'split' by a prism. This small part of the spectrum comprises most people's experience of light. We know the familiar colours of the rainbow and their characteristics - we see the effects of their wavelengths with our eyes as they are absorbed or reflected by different materials around us.  Everyone knows where they are with visible light.... Few ever feel the need to study the parts of the EM Spectrum which are less 'tangible'.  These are things that cannot be understood by looking in the same way we see visible light.

The Neurological Spectrum poses a similar problem - Everyone knows where they are with Neuro Typicals (NTs) even though they encompass a huge variety of different characteristics and behaviours.  People with Autism, however, exist firmly in the less well known parts of the Neurological Spectrum; indeed we occupy our own 'Spectrum'.  As an Aspie, I find it hard to see things from the perspective of any one who doesn't share my little chunk of the Spectrum.  I now suspect it is practically impossible for most NTs to see things from my perspective.  How can someone who is NT begin to understand how someone with Autism experiences the world when the very tools we use to experience it are so different?  Try to convince an Aspie that you share their experience when you are NT, and you will probably meet some resistance.

In short - someone who is NT may share similar difficulties as someone with Apergers, but the experience will differ enormously.  They may both get overwhelmed at a party, become tired and want to leave, but the Aspie may be so overwhelmed it brings on a meltdown....  They might both get scared on a roller-coaster and close their eyes, but the Aspie may suffer sensory overload.  Stresses at home or work may get them both down, but the Aspie may be more likely to suffer a severe bout of depression.  Equally, both may enjoy a well made film, but the Aspie may dissect it to the nth degree to fully appreciate the craftsmanship and recite volumes of observations to anyone available whether they watched it or not.

We all experience the same difficulties, ups and downs. How we experience them, and how they affect us however, is very, very different. It is clear to me now, that only the most exceptionally open-minded or highly perceptive individuals can look beyond their own NT experience and acknowledge that it is different for us... Which doesn't mean we should stop trying, of course!

To me it's a raven - to others a rabbit...  but I'm right (hee hee!)

'HTTP Error 404 File Not Found'

Many of us Aspies find ourselves spending a lot of time with computers.  This can be due to a number of reasons.  Some are particularly good with computers; coding, scripting, diagnostics etc. Others are users, like me; experts in using software for various purposes, or avid gamers or researchers.  Computers are logical and hold no surprises, and are a pleasant way to pass time without the hard work of interacting with people.  They behave as expected as long as you treat them correctly.  Overwhelm them with too much nonsensical data in too frequent tranches and, like Aspies, they will stop normal functioning, at least temporarily.  It is not surprising then, that some of us use computing analogies to explain how we gather and process information, and more importantly, what happens when our coping mechanisms fail us.

I have worked with computers since I left school.  As a graphics specialist, I rode the incredibly steep curve of technological advances that began in the mid 80's.  Many people will remember as clearly as I do, the instability and lack of reliability of the early PC software, hardware and peripherals; the fledgling email systems, compatibility problems, the early Internet, (when search results would number in the tens, not the tens of thousands!) poor processing speeds and the lack of data storage space.  My job meant I pushed hardware and software to its limits... The consequent error messages which accompanied the inevitable breakdowns now hold almost legendary status... You can buy t-shirts and other merchandise emblazoned with the messages.  They are also, quite conveniently analogous of my own internal systems breakdowns...

The Microsoft fatal error message known as The Blue Screen of Death, for instance: When this error occurred, there was nothing you could do but switch off and hope it would start up again.  Like many Aspies, there is a finite amount of data we can process over a given time without 'overloading'.  When my own 'internal system' has exceeded its capacity, it can no longer function, I have no choice but to switch off, withdraw from stimulus and wait until I can 're-boot'.

'HTTP Error 404 - File not found' is the message that comes to mind when I look to my 'catalogue of appropriate responses' and the relevant page is missing.  For myself, this happens when I have to deal with several stressful social situations within a short time.  These situations require intense scrutiny and lightning access to my catalogue but if the page is missing: Error 404 File not found (Having Trouble Talking to People Error: Appropriate response not found).

If software is not functioning as it should, surely and upgrade is in order? So how does this work for Aspies?  We cannot upgrade our system, so how do we continue to manage? The answer may lie in our superior data storage capacity.  Perhaps the combination of absorbing vast amounts of data and our proclivity for repetitive tasks may lead to faster processing?  Either way, it's not an ideal solution and 'meltdowns' continue to occur.  So be patient, don't tap the keys angrily or bang the mouse on the desk - sometimes you just need to give the old PC a moment to collect itself and everything will be OK.  And yes, I'm still talking about Aspies.